Life has stole all of my pep. If you see the jerk, tell him I want my mojo back.

The past seven days have been rough. Really, really, really rough. I’ve been completely zapped of my mental energy, but after some serious thinking, I’m still going to keep a positive outlook. Savannah says “Positive outcomes only!” I could be wallowing in self-pity, hatred, and depression right now, but NO! The anger monster WILL NOT GET ME.

Yes, my internal anger does in fact look like a rabid strawberry.

I think that although we are all individuals, we’re still products of our environment. That environment consisting of our location (whether it be physical or what point we are at in our lives), our friends, family, careers, and also with how we identify ourselves. Of course there are deviations to this; not everyone who lives in a sunny state is going to be an outgoing, athletic person, nor is someone in their 40s necessarily going to be domestic and family oriented. However, aspects of their life will reflect their environment.

I’ve come to realize what affects me the most would be my friends. I unconsciously pick up habits and traits from the people I hold close to my heart. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s less than desirable. In the end, it really doesn’t matter. All of these personality traits are what make up me. Although they exist out there somewhere I’m sure, for the most part, no one has every trait I have. I am an individual comprised of those I love.

Seven days ago a very close friend of mine passed away. I’ve shed my tears and I’m going through the grieving process, but I’m going to not focus on what I have lost, but remember what we had and what I gained from our friendship.

My friend, B, was an amazing individual (or as he said ‘indavidual’). His life was difficult because of medical reasons, but that did not stop him from soaring. I could go on and on all day about what an inspiring person he was, what a kind person he was, but honestly, those words don’t really mean anything unless you KNEW him. B had an unmatched humor. He was witty, snarky, cynical, intelligent, but most of all FUN. He could take the most routine situation and turn it into complete chaos that would have you laughing so hard you wanted to cry. Everything had humor in it and everything could be made fun of. I learned from him in our short friendship that yeah, people are terrible, but at least it’s hilarious to watch and pick at. I wish I could thank him for that. I reallyreally hope he got something out of our friendship, even if it was just a couple items to make a pretty dress out of. He looked smashing, even if his pixelated midriff was showing.

Troll on, sir, troll on.

Death isn’t the only way people leave your life. Blahblah, some cliché line about people leaving, etc, whatever. This isn’t a sob story. People leave, life goes on, but you need to keep your head up and hang on to what you got.

My friend RL (not Real Life, we’re just going to refer to this friend as RL) has decided that we are not to be a part of each other’s lives now over something I don’t understand. Meh, it sucks, meh, life goes on. Blahblah, he was a cool person, blahblah, whatever.

Dear RL,

I learned from you that there is a line and it should not be crossed. Things can go from joking to WTF WHY YOU TALKIN’ BOUT MY MOM in zero to .5 seconds. =P

Sincerely,

Me

I also learned to never, ever drunk dial from him. Saved voicemails can be very embarrassing. Thanks for the life lesson, mister. =]

AND in the same week, RR left as well. This hurt pretty bad, but I’m sure he has his reasons. I think what hurt about this the most is I don’t know why. He was there, being a great friend to me after B’s passing, and then he was just gone. Was I inattentive? Was I over emotional? What would cause someone to leave a friend during a time of need like that? I don’t know, but RR is a good person. I know he has a good reason and I can respect that. If he ever wants to talk, he knows how to find me.

LOGIC. RR is probably the most logical person I know. I find myself a lot of times trying to look at situations from all stand points and seeing what the most logical reason or course of action should be. I think I also gained a lot of insight into the male mind. Now THAT is going to be priceless. I'm hoping this is going to save me from many a foot-in-mouth situations. FOR SURE, thank you, sir.

I really got a lot more from each of them. But everyone I know is such a part of me it's hard to tell what's always been me and what's new. I think it makes me sound like a sheeple, but really, that's not the case.

I look back on all of this and I think I have the closure I needed.

Now I’m off to terrorize my best friend.